The Featherstone's: Death beams

So I've come to the conclusion that people are inherently stupid, and when you get a big group of inherently stupid people, bad things are bound to happen. I learned this first hand last night at my in-laws. A big group from their neighborhood got together to have a bbq and watch some fireworks as has been done every year. Every year they seem to push the envelope of stupidity to increase the odds of someone either blowing up or catching on fire. Last year and so luckily this year my father-in-law and brother-in-law (who shall remain nameless) have been making these bomb things. If you live in their neighborhood I'm sure that you've heard them and thought that world war III was inevitably starting. Last year they blew one up and it exploded sending pieces of plastic as well as the bomb thing up the driveway where people were watching. Luckily no one got hurt that time. Every time they decide to detonate one of these death bombs I duck for cover either behind the house or someone else because as we all know, history does repeat itself when people don't learn from their mistakes (luckily no one got hurt from those last night, but we are all looking forward to the 24th!). Then they were lighting these jumper things which were probably banned in the 1950's due to mass destruction. The jumper things are like flowers but take flight like a demon and shoot across the air at mock 100 until it hits something. Well one of the first times they lite them one came shooting up the driveway and barely missed my friend Lindsey, a friends mom Laura and me. At that point I said, "Wow maybe we shouldn't do those anymore!" But inherently stupid people don't listen. So they continued to light these death beams and I sat along with the inherently stupid people and watched them as they continued to fly out of control shooting across the street hitting a neighbors window and another one launching into their bush, which was luckily not dry enough to catch on fire. They started doing them in a bucket so they wouldn't fly around, but somehow the inherently stupid people all forgot that these things were death beams and they started doing them outside of the bucket again. So again we watched them fly around hitting cars and such, oh what great 4th of July fun!!! Finally I had had enough and once again opened my non inherently stupid mouth and said,"Hey don't do those anymore!" In return I got a look from the inherently stupid people in astonishment!!! Why shouldn't we stupid girl? Don't ruin our fun!! So they decided to light another one. This time it flew straight to where the children were laying.....who could have foreseen this?........and went right into one of the children's shirts and continued to burn while the poor defenseless child screamed and tried to get it out of his shirt with his hand. Luckily dad acted fast and got his shirt off to discover that his sons skin was falling off of his arm and his hand was burned from trying to get the flying demon out of his shirt. Wow, this event was NO ONE'S fault because how were we to know that this would have happened? We had NO idea that these things were going to zip around and almost hit people!!! Why didn't we listen to the girl with all the insight? I don't think we'll ever know....... The best thing is that they'll probably continue to light them on the 24th, because as we've learned inherently stupid people just don't learn from their mistakes.
Well during the night we did at least have some fun with our group of friends!